


Best Toy Ever

by FicFanFun



Category: Hogan's Heroes (TV 1965)
Genre: Erotic Poetry, Humor, M/M, Sexual Content, Sexual Humor, Smut
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-22
Updated: 2020-03-25
Packaged: 2021-03-01 02:08:03
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 846
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23257429
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FicFanFun/pseuds/FicFanFun
Summary: Just a little poem suggested by a line in The First Time
Relationships: Louis LeBeau/Peter Newkirk, Robert Hogan/Peter Newkirk, Wilhelm Klink/Peter Newkirk
Comments: 4
Kudos: 5





	1. Chapter 1

Soft and squishy on my leggy

Dangly doughy in my hand

A little touch, a tiny tickle,

It’s the best toy ever.

It started out quite tiny,

Just a little bitty thingy,

But it grew to be much bigger.

It’s the best toy ever.

I can hold it when I pee-pee

I can watch it make a pattern

I can spell my name in wee-wee

It's the best toy ever.

All the other boys look bigger

And my daddy’s is the hugest

Mine just looks a little smallish

But it’s the best toy ever.

Splishy-splashing in the bathtub

I can grab my little dingy.

I can stretch it if I want to.

It’s the best toy ever.

In my pocket I can rub it

I can give myself a stiffie

I can make myself feel happy.

It’s the best toy ever.

It stands tall just like a soldier

And it tingles very proudly 

And it feels so exciting.

It’s the best toy ever.

When I go to beddy bye bye

I play with my dingy wingy

Cause it helps me fall asleepy.

It’s the best toy ever.

I didn’t even touch it

And it got all sticky wicky

I woke up in wetty beddy

It’s the best toy ever.

Daddy says it’s called a wet dream

And it will not be the last one

I’ll wake up and touch my wee-wee.

It’s the best toy ever.

Now it’s oozy oozy gooey

When I rub it with my fingers

And it makes me want to scream out

It’s the best toy ever.

All the big boys want to touch it

And the big girls want to see it

And I sometimes like to share it.

It’s the best toy ever.

When I kiss my pretty girlfriend

And I touch her on the boobies.

I can feel my willy rising

It’s the best toy ever.

She is slippery and ready,

She is waiting for my willy,

And I stick it right inside her.

It’s the best toy ever.

So I push and push and push it

Deep and deep and deep inside her

Oh my God it feels amazing.

It’s the best toy ever.

Now the Colonel likes to touch it

And I really like to let him

Cause he likes to make me shout out.

It’s the best toy ever.

I’m so proud of my big stiffie

Of my cock, my prick, my willy,

It was once a little pee-pee.

It’s the best toy ever.

Now it’s long and dangly wangly

And it’s wiggly and mushy

But it’s hard when I’m excited

It’s the best toy ever.

I don’t need another plaything

Though I’m sitting in a prison

’Cause I’ve got my little Peter.

It’s the best toy ever.

So I let the Colonel suck it

Lick it, fondle it and fuck it

And I still find time to wank it.

It’s the best toy ever.


	2. Peter and Willy

I have a little willy

I like to see it grow

So I stroke it and I rub it

And no one has to know.

Till I make a big mistake

When I’m standing in formation

And I make it spurt and sputter

And I feel great elation.

But Colonel Klink can see me coming

And he yanks me out of line 

And he send me to the cooler

Where he makes me bide my time.

Then he comes to pay a visit.

He is very, very stern. 

He’s says I’ve been quite naughty.

There’s a lot I have to learn.

So he opens up my trousers

And he touches what’s inside

And he gives a little tickle

Now my Willy cannot hide.

Colonel Willy takes my Peter

And I take his Willy too

And when Peters are with Willies

They know what they like to do.

I have a little willy

And I like to see it grow

And Willy has a Peter

And that’s all you need to know.


	3. Chapter 3

I went to bed  
I thought of girls   
Of girls I’d like to see

I feel asleep  
I dreamed a dream  
A dream of ecstasy 

I woke up wet  
There was a splotch  
A splotch, and it was spreading

And then I knew   
Somehow I came,  
I came right on the bedding. 

I felt so sad  
I told Louis  
Louis stood close to me

He took my hand  
He kissed my cheek  
My cheek turned pink and rosy

“You missed it, dear,  
Your orgasm!  
That orgasm sneaked by you

“You slept through it,  
An orgasm!  
An orgasm denied you.

“Don’t worry, dear,  
I’ll help you have  
Your sweetest dreams of leisure.

“Just sit by me,  
Unzip your fly.  
Your fly’s the door to treasure.”

He touched me here  
He touched me there  
And there he took a measure.

“Five inches long.  
Not small at all.  
You’ll feel a little pressure.”

He stroked and rubbed  
And brought me home,  
Home to a land of pleasure.

I fell asleep  
That night and dreamed  
And dreamed of my Louis 

No dreams of girls  
No, just one boy  
One boy who truly knew me.


End file.
